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A Bit of Advice

In the aftermath of Easter, my goal was to develop two new programs for my consulting practice, finish writing a new book called Vintage Church, and re-write Rainbow Family Values, a book I wrote many years ago. Okay, I was a little ambitious. I did develop programs for congregational renewal and stewardship, and I finished Vintage Church. I took one look at the rewrite, however, and gave up.

I wrote Rainbow Family Values in 1992. Like my book Gay by God, it was written out of a sense of desperation. I was desperate not to answer the same questions for the 10,000th time. People kept asking me how someone can be lesbian or gay and Christian until I thought I’d scream. To save my throat, I wrote Gay by God. The other question that was asked ad naseum was, “How do you make a lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender relationship last?”

In 1992, Bill and I had been together a dozen years, and we had just had two children. People thought I knew a bit about relationships, so I tried to write what I knew in a book. Thank God I had the good sense to know better than to write a book on LGBT folks rearing children. Even now, although both of our kids are grown and one will graduate from college in a couple of weeks, I’m still not sure I know anything about childrearing. This fall, Bill and I will celebrate our 35th anniversary, but I’m still not confident I should be giving advice about making a relationship last.

I have simple advice about these three subjects that I guarantee will work:

  1. If you are gay or lesbian and wondering if you can be a Christian there is a simple answer: Just do it. That is, you know you are gay or lesbian, so just be a Christian.
  2. If you are wondering about the one lesson to remember in childrearing, there is really only one commandment: Thou shalt not kill.
  3. If you are wondering how to make a relationship endure there really is only one key: Don’t break up.

There you have it. I could have saved a lot of trees if I had just written those three lines and not bothered with the books.

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